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T O P I C    R E V I E W
HEARTBURN-OMO Posted - Mar 21 2011 : 09:54:22
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
WHEN YOU'RE OLD
AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the
bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light,
but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy.
You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again..

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed..
Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and
an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT!
Don't mess with old people.
3   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
TLBFestus Posted - Mar 21 2011 : 23:48:47
Snoops or not, I'm doing that the next time something like that happens to me
Fossil-OMO Posted - Mar 21 2011 : 16:47:07
boo snopes
Nosehair-OMO Posted - Mar 21 2011 : 15:39:03
Didn't pass the snoops test, but still a good story no doubt HB

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/response.asp

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